On 12 September 2026, the ODs put together a side to play against SACS Old Boys (“SOBs”) at Sheffield Park in Sussex.

The beauty of the ground is surpassed only by its rich cricketing history. The eccentric Third Earl of Sheffield turned the ground into an important centre of English cricket, where, in the 1890s, the touring Australians would play their first game in England on its hallowed turf. His £150 donation, made while funding the English tour to Australia, established what is still called the Sheffield Shield today. It was on this very field, in front of a crowd of 25,000 including the Prince of Wales, that the fearsome Australian fast bowler Ernie Jones ripped through WG Grace’s beard and, when told to apologise, dropped Victorian cricket’s most famous Freudian slip: “Sorry, Doctor, she slipped.” Adjacent to the ground is the only Capability Brown-designed lake on which a game of cricket has been played: on 17 January 1891, a match was played on the frozen lake rather than the main ground. Some players wore skates; others wrapped cloth around their feet for grip. Neither method worked well. E.V. Lucas described batsmen overshooting the crease by yards, beating the ice with their feet, waving their arms, and pirouetting. He observed that “cricket on the ice demands pirouetting” and that it was “more exciting than cricket on the turf.” Extras were recorded as “innumerable.” Ice hockey ended up growing faster than ice cricket.

Sadly, on 12 September 2026, the current Prince of Wales declined to attend the ODs vs SOBs 2026 derby, and the audience was reduced from 25,000 to two pensioners on National Trust deck chairs.

Undeterred, the captains borrowed a 1979 one-rand coin (pronounced “ront”), generously provided by Dave Riches, with an image of die ou krokodil on the heads side. SOBs unwisely invoked the spirit of PW Botha by calling heads and losing the toss. The OD captain, Anthony Pickering (F1990), put the SOBs in to bat on a slow, damp pitch – more akin to the early season than the end of the longest drought in living memory.

Despite helpful bowling conditions, the SOBs openers started well, reaching 40-0, as short balls were pulled mercilessly to the boundary and anything overpitched was dispatched with a flurry of crisp cover drives. This called for a change of tactics: unbeknown to the SOBs opener Phil Dicey, he was in the midst of a vicarious inter-generational war. His uncle, Gordon Robinson, who was not present, had defected from the author’s local club (East Horsley Cricket Club), and his energy over the years has made the rival club (Horsley and Send) irritatingly successful. Despite a 50-year acquaintance, the author has never dismissed Mr Robinson, who now refuses to play against the author to keep the record intact in perpetuity. The next best thing was to dismiss the nephew, who, it has to be said, is 30 years younger and a first-team Horsley & Send club cricketer.

The author articulated his intention to bowl a slower one the next ball and, ever a man of his word, duly delivered. Dicey Junior reacted in shock, his spasmodic movement resembling that of a rat on a live wire, and spooned up a catch which Pickering did well to hold on to at extra cover.

The youth policy then yielded results, as the under-14 Oliver Rossi (godson of an OD) took three excellent wickets, precipitating a middle-order collapse. At the drinks break, SOBs, at 90-6 (with only nine men), looked defeated. But cometh the hour, cometh the social fluidity in which Bishops takes such pride. The ODs, in their desperation to field 11, had selected two SACS old boys to play for them, Andrew Warner and Thorkild Clausen. But, being liberals, in a move that would make the OD chairman proud, we sportingly allowed them to bat for the other side. Warner reciprocated with an excellent 50-run partnership. Despite a rapidly expanding sphere of influence, Dave Riches showed why he was the Bishops 1sts’ opening bowler for two (and a half) seasons with a tight spell. Some lively hitting at the end left SOBs with a respectable 159 after 30 overs and one ball, which was all that was needed for his son to bowl Thorkild.

After a world-class tea at the exquisite clubhouse, the ODs started their innings with international batting sensation Tanguy Durrant scoring a brutal 50, continuing the form that saw him represent the French U19 side against Sweden in Denmark.

He scored so quickly that, at the other end, it was barely noticeable that the first three wickets to fall all failed to trouble the scorers.

Another middle-order collapse, and the ODs looked precarious. But we reckoned without Pickering. Coming in five wickets down, he strode onto the pitch with a preternatural calm. The great cricket journalist Neville Cardus once said there was “all of summer in Frank Woolley’s cover drive”. The same could be said of Pickering, as he effortlessly overhauled the target, barely hitting the ball, which raced to the boundary despite the sluggish outfield. Dave Riches’ knock also deserves mention: both scored excellent 40s, adding over 80 to win the game. We cannot say for certain what their scores were, as the scorer was in Dobbo’s set seven for maths.

Pickering continued to show his all-round skills by putting on an excellent braai. All in all, a wonderful day out, and we hope to make it an annual event at this special ground.

Man of the match – Pickering: a Herculean effort, along with James Du Randt, in getting the side together; he took two excellent catches, captained in the right spirit and then played an elegantly crafted captain’s knock to win the game. An added bonus is that this famously modest man will be embarrassed by the award.

Champagne moment – Dicey’s dismissal was disqualified from selection due to a conflict of interest, so the winner has to be the superb 2015 Bordeaux blend supplied by Pickering and Craig Vincent’s boerie and lamb premium-priced braai packs from his shop Billytong in Cobham.