John Middleton Fairweather 1930 – 2025

Written by John’s son, Malcolm.

Throughout his long and well‑lived life, everyone who knew John Middleton Fairweather said the same thing about him: he was a gentle man and, above all else, a gentleman.

Born in Caterham in 1930 to James and Kathleen, and elder brother to Ayton, John spent his earliest years in India, where his father, an RAF pilot, was posted to Peshawar. After returning to the UK for boarding school, tragedy struck in 1940 when his father was killed during the evacuation from Dunkirk. Following James’s wishes, Kathleen bravely took her two boys to South Africa to live with James’s brother, undertaking the dangerous wartime voyage to Cape Town.

John’s first school in South Africa proved difficult – he was bullied for being “English” – but everything changed when he moved to Bishops. It was there that he found acceptance, friendship, and a sense of belonging that stayed with him for the rest of his life. He spoke often and fondly of his time at Bishops, and his stories – usually involving rugby – were told with warmth and humour; he was a natural storyteller. The friendships he formed in South Africa endured throughout his life. Even after settling in the UK, he followed news from Bishops closely and attended UK OD events whenever he could, proudly hosting two gatherings at the RAF Club in Piccadilly, London – a first for the ODs.

After leaving Bishops, John attempted to build a civilian career in Johannesburg, working at Stuarts and Lloyd and later in construction. Yet his desire to follow his father into the RAF never left him. Eventually, encouraged by his boss and friend George Poulty, he joined the RAF. Although his eyesight prevented him from becoming a pilot, he served with distinction in the RAF Regiment for over 20 years, securing airfields and protecting both military and civilian dignitaries. His RAF years, too, became a rich source of stories – told with the gentle humour and modesty that were so characteristic of him.

While on leave from Nicosia, John met Jean Young by chance while visiting an ailing aunt in London. Jean, a distant relation, happened to be visiting at the same time. It was love at first sight. They married in 1959 and remained devoted to each other for 53 years, until Jean’s death in 2013. Their RAF life took them and their children Jamie (1961), Graham (1963), and Malcolm (1968) to Singapore, Northern Ireland, and across the UK, before the family finally settled in 1971 in Hitchin, Hertfordshire.

John retired from the RAF in 1976 to spend more time with his family. After a brief and frustrating period in civilian security, he returned to the service fold and found his niche in the civil service, working in positive vetting until his retirement.

Service to others and family were central to John and Jean’s life in Hitchin. Alongside raising three boys – of whose chosen careers they were immensely proud – and welcoming three much‑loved daughters‑in‑law into the family, they embraced the joy of becoming grandparents and played an active role in the local community. They were active members of St Mary’s Church, delivered meals on wheels with the WRVS and volunteered at Garden House Hospice. John also sold poppies around Remembrance Day every year for the British Legion, continuing well into his late 80s.

In retirement, John and Jean rediscovered their love of travel, enjoying Saga cruises and memorable trips to Italy, Singapore, New Zealand and, of course, South Africa – always a place of deep emotional connection for John.

After Jean’s death, John moved to an assisted living apartment in Hitchin, where he spent his final years supported by a wonderful team of staff and surrounded by friends and family. Despite periods of ill health in his later decades, he carried himself with dignity, always impeccably turned out in jacket, cap, and cravat. His final decline came unexpectedly. He died peacefully in his sleep on 17th January 2025 at Aspen Manor Care Home in Oakham, close to where his son Malcolm lives, and surrounded by regimental plaques and photographs of those he loved.

Throughout his life, John drew on the values that shaped him early on: the friendships and grounding he found at Bishops, the sense of duty and steadiness he learned in the RAF, and the love and constancy he shared with Jean and their family. These threads ran through everything he did. And in the end, as in the beginning, those who knew him remembered him simply as he was: a gentle man, and above all else, a gentleman. As he so often said when parting from his family, we now say to him: hamba gashle – go well.

The photographs were sent by his son Malcolm.

In the one below he is seen with Ayton his younger brother, at Bishops from 1941 - 1951.

Lower down, the photograph is of John in his twenties.